Me again...sorry I haven't written much of late but...I was busy.
First for what it's worth let me tell, who ever is out there reading this...that I am absolutely floored. I never imagine I'd have this many view this quickly. I don't know the protocol for these things...maybe I should have gotten you all flowers or something. I guess THANK YOU will have to do.
Ok so NOW back to the post.
I was having a conversation this morning with a young Gay friend of mine. One thing leading to another I started telling people how, easy it is to have homosexual sex. Basically if you can put 3 tree and a bush somewhere, chance out that behind them there's a guy with his cock out. Which lead me to tell of the people I've encountered along the way and how I've started to classify them. Now to those of you who've never had gay sex in public park or other public places this won't really ring any bells. But it's still funny to read (I hope) and to those of you who have gone to public parks, beaches, peep shows or bathhouses I'm sure you'll go down that list and recognize a few of these characters. So he we go...as they use to say...follow the bouncing ball...or in this case...the bouncing balls.
THE PARANOID...
That's the guy who comes to a public place to find sex yet is so nervous about getting caught or even being seen having it that every chirp of bird, crack of a branch or flicker of a headlight makes him go into a panic and zip up and run away. Now for all intents and purposes it is good to have some paranoia, but if it's to the point where you can't get it up and you spend most of your time looking over your shoulder....then public sex might not be for you.
THE..I'M NO FAG GUY
That's the guy that comes to a public place to his cock sucked by other men YET...if you ask him he'd tell y a "I'm no fag!" He won't touch you, he will barely acknowledge you, other then to push you to your knees and tell you to "Suck it". Never ask that guy to return the favor...he wont. Talk about being "In the Closet" those guys are so far in it that they couldn't find their way out with a flashlight and google Maps!
THE TROLL
That's the guy that...well...to be blunt, fell out of the ugly tree and hit all the branches on the way down. I know I know most of the gay community thinks a "Troll" is anyone over 40. But most of the gay community are ageists pig who don't realize that soon enough they'll be over 40.
In this case we are talking about the U.G.L.Y. guy. Not the...oh well he's not that cut...the really fugly ones...the ones that when the come into the light you loose your hard on, zip up and turn away, or run away.
THE LURKERS
Not to be confused with the The Trolls, these guys can be Trolls but not always. These are the guys you see walking around the woods, or the video shop, or the peep show or the Bathhouse corridors. The guys who can't get any action of their own, yet when they see action going on, the flock to it, therefore most of the time disrupting said action. Lurkers are a Buzz Kill...and can ruin many a night of cruising.
THE "I HAVEN'T DISCOVERED SOAP AND WATER" GUY
Now I know...some men love the "Musk" of a sweaty man. I myself can appreciate a good Musk. But here what we're talking about is the guy that...just doesn't wash down there. The guy who when you get you face down there you just want to GAG..and not in the fun good way. Now I can speak for the rest of the world...but for Christ Sake...this is North America. Water is plentiful and so is soap...USE IT!!
THE TITTY TWISTER
Yeah...THAT guy who start to pinch and twist your tits until you think they're going to fall off. He thinks it's sexy, YOU think...GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!!
THE "READY FOR ANYTHING" GUY
That's the guy who comes the park with his ass all ready lubed up and his pant pockets full of condoms.
THE POPPER WHORE.
That's the guy walking around with his little brown bottle of popper firmly clench in his fist and who takes a sniff ever 5 minutes. Or the guy that when he notices YOU have a bottle of poppers proceeds to take it from you and by the end as empty it of half it's content.
For those of you who don't know what "Poppers" are...look it up or ask a gay friend.
THE "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK GUY"
Now he's elusive but when you find him...JACKPOT! This is the guy who just doesn't give a fuck who watches him fuck. Lurkers, bring him on. Headlights...he'll fuck you hardest when they shine on you. THIS is the guy you want to find out there for a good time. He's strip you out of every piece of clothes you have, bend you over a tree stump, a picnic table, the hood of his car and really GO for it.
This concludes tonight's little list.
If I've missed one you think is worth a mention please let me know.
And for those of you who are wondering what the Hell this as to do with SL. Watch for the SL List next.
Until next time..
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