O.K., so for those of you who read part one....(Good for you) here's the second part of this little list that bridges into Second Life.
The Newby: Ah yes, we've all been there. Walking into walls, bad hair, bad skin, horrible clothes. Out on Newby Island, looking at our keyboard and our screens going "How the fuck do I get out of here and find something to fuck!!"
Use to be you could be a "Newby" for quite some time. But now with all the advances in Skins, shapes etc. It's no longer acceptable to be a newby for more then 2 maybe 3 weeks.
The Eternal Newby: That's the guy or girl...that still has their newby look after being in world for over six month...and yes I've seen some AV's as old as 1 year still wearing their newby clothes. Obviously those are people who have no wish to put a dime into the game to improve their AV...and I have not one ounce of desire in getting to know them.
Pouty Lip, Big Booby Girl: Those are the AVs you'll usually find hanging around "Black" oriented SIMs. In other words those are the AVs that White Male think Black men dig. Yeah cause make no mistake...If you see a pouty lip, super sized titty Barbie that looks like a 10$ whore...chances are pretty good it's a guy behind the keyboard. Which is fine cause most probably the Hulking Black guy that's all Ghetto and wants a Ho...is also probably a White guy.
80's Rocker guy: Jesus Christ!! Am I tired of seeing that guy. Listen up....Long hair for men is only sexy IF you're ACTUALLY a rock star! Other wise you look like an idiot!. I'm no fan of SL Hair for men but it has greatly improved. GET A HAIR CUT YOU HIPPY!!
Discolored Cock Guy: Ah yes I've ranted on that one before but come on...it deserves a second shot. Guys if you're going to get laid in SL. For the love of.....take 5 minutes after you leave the cock store....find a place with good light and MATCH YOUR SKIN!! They've made it super easy now. No excuses for the horror show we see walking around SL.
Side note: Walking around with an erect cock...NOT a good look.
Cheap Shoe Lady: Now there was a time in SL where you couldn't really get a good shoe. But now a day they even give great looking shoes or boots with outfits. There's no reason for a woman to be wearing a shoe that was made back in 2006. As for me...when I see a woman with bad feet or a bad shoe...I pass.
Out of the Box AV: Look I know they've greatly improve the skins and the shape...but if you're going to create your AV...how about tweeking it a little. At times you get to a Sim and you can't tell one guy from another cause they all look so plain and unimaginative.
Vampires: GOOD GOD!! Die all ready...and stay dead!. Bunch of Twilight loving @#$#@%$@#$. No I don't want to join your Clan or be your Blood Bag. Having Fangs does NOT make you a Dom...Matter of fact considering how over used Vampires are lately it only makes you a sheep.
Nikkos: I don't get it. I don't see what having a tail, cat ears and Paw boots does for you. But hey...if your idea of a good time is shitting in a sand box and licking yourself...go for it.
Gore: O.K that's a big category. In this category I also include anyone with a tag above their head that read "Master" "Sir" or "Lord"
Now my theory about Gore is this. Any and ALL who play Gore are 35 y.o. men living in their parents basement who have never pleasured a REAL woman in their lifetime.
Offended? I don't give a crap!.
As for the other Douche Bags with the a fore mentioned Tags above their heads. Look if you have to advertise it...YOU AIN'T IT!
So I don't care how many women you have on your leash that you parade around to reassure yourself you're a viral stud. Dominance doesn't come with a leash holder.
IM GUY: That's the Schmuck who thinks it's a good idea to IM the girls when they're with someone else or in the middle of a Sexy Role play to "Offer" themselves.
Look you nitwit! The last thing anyone wants during a sexy RP is to hear that DING DING that announces that you're going to make a fool of yourself by.....oh let's see...say shit like;
"Can I be next"
"You look like you're enjoying that"
"You're HOT"
"I bet I can fuck you better then he can"
Honorable mention here to the women who tend to IM a guy while they're with another. Look if you're with someone else and cruising ME....what possible interest might I have in going with you....so you can cruise some other guy while you're with ME?
Quiet/Shy Girl: Look Quiet and Shy is cute. But in a chat room it doesn't go very far. If talking to you is like pulling teeth you can be assured we'll move on. I'm not saying you have to come on to everyone you meet. But at least do try and hold up your end of the conversation.
The Gesture King/Queen: You know them, you hate them. Yes those people who find a gesture just soooooo funny that they must ABSOLUTELY share it with everyone....over and over again.
"God you love this song" Ok thanks...we don't need you to say it every time any song comes on. There are better way to attract the attention of the DJ. If you love his Tunes that much...TIP him or her!
This includes all the idiots with the "Wooohoo" "Welcome back" "Spanking" "That my cookie" "That's my sissy" and all those who have the screen filling gesture that don't stop.
IT WAS CUTE 5 YEARS AGO!!! It's NOT anymore....GET OVER IT!!
PEOPLE WHO VOICE
Now this is a Sub Category. First off let me say I have no issue with people who use voice. I do myself from time to time. But here are a few things I've noticed and some possible "Does and Don't"
DRUNK GIRL: Now if you're idea of a "Good time" is sitting in a dark room in front of you computer and getting wasted out of your skull to the point where no one can understand what you're saying and you basically fall asleep at you desk, passed out.
You might have more of an issue then Internet addiction...just saying.
Honorable mention here to BELCHING GIRL. It's not sexy when guys do it...and it sure as hell doesn't get sexier when women do it. It's NOT funny it's just Gross.
MOANING GIRL: Yes as much as I do enjoy hearing or even more making a woman moan. 30 minutes of you breathing like a vacuum cleaning in your cheap ass microphone does NOTHING for me.
Honorable mention here to the girl who thought it was so sexy to put her microphone up to her vibrator and let me listen. If you read this....It wasn't.
TV/MUSIC Girl: Look....pick one would you? If you're in SL with your microphone turned on, might be nice if you're not drowned out by the background Music or the 6 O'clock news on your TV. I know we live in a Multi-tasking society but help the planet...pick your poison and STICK WITH IT!. Either listen to your Tunes, or watch TV...OR BE IN SL!.
Family Life Girl: I get it...not everyone can be alone when they play in SL. But if you have a horde of screaming children or other assorted people around you, wanting your attention. That might be a sign that....you should possibly....oh I don't know....Take care of your family first before escaping into a fantasy world? When we know you're husband's name, your kids names and even the family dog's name cause we keep hearing their names....might want to turn off the microphone.
Well I think that covers most of the bases. If you all think of something else I may of missed...please let me know. If there's something on your mind you'd like me to discuss on this blog drop me a line.
Catch you all later.
P.S.: I used the terms Girl or Guy but all these go both ways!
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