Want to Fuck?

Hello there Blogger readers.

Welcome to this weeks little nugget of SL knowledge or question.

This weeks I'm channeling Carrie Bradshaw.  (Yes I watched Sex and the city, deal with it)

HOW DO WE GET THE HINT?

We've all been there and we all joke about it.  Those poor newbies or (god forbid) those more experience people who come up to us and go "Want to fuck?"

I know, I know we all hate it.  But it started me thinking.  How do you approach people in SL when you're horny and want to play with them.

Now in real life we all send out subtle signals or sometimes not so subtle ones.  A flip of the hair, a lingering touch, a wink etc.

But in a virtual world where we spend most of our time standing still or not being able to really control our movements, how do you send out those signals.



Now let me be clear, I have no answer to this at the moment.  I'm just exposing the problem to get everyone thinking and hopefully talking.

So, what am I talking about here?

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION...

Ok so if you're on a sex sim, there's a good chance you're not there to look at the scenery, unless you're a pixel voyeur which in that case...you are there for the scenery.  But it is quite possible that you'll be sitting around just waiting for others to show up.

If you try to pick up someone on a sex sim the odds are in your favor that you'll get a positive response.  Compared to say...trying to pick up people at !Xcite or in a Sex Bed / Toy store.  (Yeah I've seen it done trust me there are trolls everywhere.)

But does it automatically follow that just because you're THERE you're open to say anyone coming up to you? and if you are how is the best way for someone to approach you?

Here I'll give out a few examples of what I've heard over the years.  I'm sure you'll recognize more than a few of them.

THE PROFILE PERV

This is the person who after having gazed at your profile jumps in your IM box to tell you;

• Wow hot picture!
• Oh I'm Canadian too
• I love your description

I'm not saying these aren't good ways to break the ice.  But they're also not the most imaginative ways.

THE BUTTON PUSHERS

Oh these ones I love.  These are the ones that from half a sim away will notice you have clickable body parts and start to push your buttons without even having said Hi to you.

That's always very attractive.

For those of you who wonder what to say or do when it happens.  I always tell them

"Yes it's an Xcite cock and their on sale right now.  Go get one you can click on it all day.  ENJOY!"

Needless to say the conversation never really gets off the ground.

CAPTAIN OBVIOUS

Now these are the people who can think of nothing better to say to open up a conversation than;

• Love the way you dance
• Nice cock
• Great tits
• Wish I was that dance pole

You get the idea.

Let me just say, we're all great dancers in SL...it comes with the dance balls.  The fact that He or She is grinding it in your direction is NOT an indication of their interest...just means the dance ball is pointing that way!.

As for having a great looking Cock or Tits or any other body part.  You're not complementing ME...you're complimenting the creator.

You want this to work?  Try being a little more specific and complementing the person on how they're put together.  THAT is work they did.  But going after the singular body part.  That's just crass.

CURIOUS GEORGE

Now these folks are a little more tricky.  These are the ones that don't come at you openly.  You know, they try to come at you sideways and you're never really sure if they're flirting with you or not.

Now from personal experience, I've had men in SL approach me.  Nothing about their profile or history would suggest that they're open to bisexuality what so ever.

So where do you go from there?

First of all, you have to keep in mind this is a Virtual world.  In real life, if a man came up to me and let it be known that he's interested in Male on Male sex.  We'd find a place and we'd go at it.  Everything that he would experience next would tell if he's into it or not.

But when you're essentially "acting it out".  How do you enjoy someone who as no point of reference as to what he's doing of feeling?

Now if you've never actually experienced sex with another man.  How in the HELL are you going to play it out?

Imagination is all well and good.  But if you have no point of reference as to how it feels to have a cock in your mouth or one up your ass.  This will make for a very uncomfortable or even boring role play.

Now I can't speak for women here.  I honestly don't know if a woman can successfully fake an encounter with an another woman.  I would tend to believe that they can.  But I could very well be wrong.

So what I'm saying here is, when I'm approached by someone I define as "Curious" it become very hard to respond to them.

A) you don't know what it is exactly they want.  Are they looking to be on Top, or Bttm.

B) you have no idea of their comfort level.  What if when you're the middle of it they go running off screaming cause at that very moment they realize...It's really not for them.

So all and all Curious Georges can be....very confusing.  I know I've spent many hours with some and after still wondered to myself.  WTF was that all about?

THE PARTY PLANNERS

Those are the no nonsense people.

They'll just walk up to you and say shit like;

• Hey me and my girl are looking for a 3some are you available?
• Hi, are you free next weekend?  My partner really like you and we'd like to get something going
• Hi, I'll pay you to screw my wife.  (Yeah it happens)

Now, cu does to these folks. They know what they want and they don't beat around the bush.

But what it gains in clarity, it looses in spontaneity.

Remember here we're talking about "First contact" situation.  People who come out of the blue and you've never really meet them or know anything about them.  What they enjoy, what they're like etc.

So if you're the type who just gets off on Pixel Porn...then by all means.  Those are the best people to find.  You 'll get somewhere, get naked and just do it.  

But if you're a little more intellectual about your SL sex, then, it might not be all that good for you.  

SO HOW DO WE DO IT?

Good question...

As this is my little corner of the bloggosphere, I can only tell you what I enjoy.  It may vary for you all.

I like to get to know my partners.

I like to be approached in a social manner.  Sit down say HI, strike up a conversation.  See if there's the least bit of chemistry between us.

I find that things have a way of attending to themselves.  If there's attraction there the conversation usually turns flirtatious.  From there where you take it is up to you.

But I find that if you "Expect" sex, more often then not you'll be disappointed.

So I guess my advice would be.  Aim for a good time.  A fun conversation, some laughs, some deep discussion etc.  Open up to the person you're talking with.  Let them know of your likes and dislikes so that it's not a surprise once you're getting hot and heavy.

Once you've established a rapport with the person, THEN you go right ahead and screw like rabbits.

Don't be surprised if it take more then one meeting for something to get started.  In a world like SL you never exactly know what the other person as been up too.  If he or she just finished having mind blowing sex with someone not 10 minutes ago.  He or she might not be receptive to your advances.  Doesn't mean they're not interested.  Just means they're not interested RIGHT NOW.

I've been in Second Life for many years.  I have had MANY lovers.  Men and Women and all I can say is, the ones that have been the best, are the ones I've taken the time to know.  

I'm not saying you have to spill your guts and bring in all your baggage.  (God no!).  But see if you connect on something more then a Genital level.

and this is my bit of BEAR wisdom for the week.

I have no clue if this helps you or not.   But if nothing else it was fun to write.  Hope you had fun reading.

Again thank you for taking the time read.

To all of you who have contacted me saying you enjoy my little Blog, I'm always happy to hear it and thank you very much.

Have fun!!