MEN 101

Hello there everyone.

It's time again for one of my "Droppings".  This posting was inspired by a friend who contacted me sometime last week.  She seemed upset and I asked what's wrong.  She says  "Men are Jerks!"  Which I basically laughed off cause....that's not news.

BUT, for those of you in need of a refresher course on MEN.  The professor is IN.



SO!.  What I'm about to tell you will probably get me booted out of the "He man women haters club" (kudos if you get that reference) but I believe it must be said.

LESSON #1:  ALL MEN ARE JERKS

LESSON #2: SEE LESSON NUMBER #1

It's that simple.

Now before you start going off and saying "No that's not true not ALL men"  YES!!  ALL MEN.

Letting this sink in for a few seconds

.
.
.
.
Sunk in yet?

O.K. so now we can extrapolate.

When I say ALL men I seriously mean it.  Just on different levels.  But at our core we are genetically wired to be jerks.

This is not saying some men can't be good guys.  Great fathers, husbands or boyfriends.  It just means ladies that you have to know your man is a jerk and you have to stop being surprised when he finally shows you how much of a jerk he can be.

What are men?  We're very simple creatures.  As one comedian put it "All we want is a Beer and to see something naked" and that's essentially IT.

Now let's us run through some practical examples of "Jerkus Erectus Manus".



Now let me start off by saying that for women, thinking "The perfect man is out there" is not really your fault.  You get a raw deal.  From the time you think, most women are fed these Walt Disneyesk fairy tales about how Prince charming is out there and that one day he'll come and life will be perfect once you have your big wedding and a house and kids etc etc.

BULLSHIT!

I'm sure Prince Charming was a jerk too.  If he wasn't why did it take him so much time to find his princess?

Now since the dawn of time, men have been Jerks.  For Christ sake, one of Ten commandments is "Dude don't be wanting your neighbors stuff and his wife"  I mean can it BE any clearer.

Men like toys.  We like to get toys, we like to play with them, then break them and then we want a new toy.  Essentially we're 6 years old all our life.  The only thing that changes is we need to shave.

THE NICE GUY STUCK IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP:

You know him, you love him.  Yes that's the guy you meet and he starts to tell you that he's in a relationship/marriage but that he's soooo unhappy.  He bend your ear with his sad story about he doesn't feel loved anymore.  You for your part look at him and think "Oh the poor man, if only he was with me I'd make him feel loved"

Yeah!

So translation.  This guy isn't getting what he wants from his relationship anymore.  Most times just means he's not getting laid as much as he wants too.  Mr.Wonderful here just didn't figure that after some time passions in any relationship goes from RED HOT to burning embers.  He's played with his "Toy" and now he's tired of it and wants a New shinier toy.

Now most men do this with full knowledge of what they're doing.  For some, they don't even realize they're doing it.  They truly believe that they're the victim in all this.

As for the idea that he will leave his Girlfriend / Wife...for you.  Not saying it won't ever happen.  But in most cases, he'll just yank your chain and use you until you start standing up and demanding a bit more of a commitment.  Then he's toss you so fast you're head will spin right into a tub a Haagen-daz.

THE GOOD HUSBAND / BOYFRIEND



You ever wonder why on Sunday night we don't tune into a TV show called "The Good Husband"?  Cause CBS doesn't do Science Fiction.

Look I'm not saying ALL Husband / Boyfriends are Lechers, but I am saying that deep down they are still men.

What does that mean.  It mean that if he thinks he can get away with it without having to pay a price.  YES he will cheat on you.  It's in the DNA.  Some men will fight it.  Some out of sense of honor and duty.  Most out of a shear fear of getting caught.

I personally know someone who's cheated on his wife many many times.  So I asked him.  "Why not leave her?"  To which he said  "Oh no I love my wife and my kids and my family life.  BUT I love women too"

Now this is a "Good guy" but he's a Jerk!

Why does it do it?  Cause it's thrilling.  Cause it spices up his life.  Cause he's tired of playing with the same toy day in and day out.  Take your pick.

Now for those of you out there reading this and saying  "No way!  I know my Hubby/BF and he would NEVER cheat"  You're soooo wrong.

For men it's not plan.  It's what you could call a crime of opportunity.  They can be the most faithful man until the opportunity presents itself.  Then the Jerk gene kicks in and they jump the fence.  Once they've jumped the fence once...they want to know if they can do it again.  Then they see they're getting away with it, having their cake and eating pussy too.  So they keep on doing it.  With each line they cross, it gets easier and easier.

Until they get careless and get caught.

We may be jerks, but we're also not that bright.

Now I know there are many many people out there in GREAT relationships.  Thank God and good on you.  I'm not saying it can't work.  All I'm saying here is remember Rule #1 and you'll be a much happier person.

If you're lucky you'll never see "The jerk" surface in your man.  Ignorance is truly bliss.  But if and when you do finally see it in your man.  PLEASE don't come crying and stating the obvious.

YES MEN ARE JERKS!!  Deal with it!



What about women?

FUCK WHO KNOWS?  Bitches be crazy!!!